Accidents Happen

Accidents Happen by Wild Bill

I know this for a fact, having just survived a freak accident working in my vegetable garden. I enjoy getting outdoors in the fresh air, using my secret fertilizer,(well aged turkey poop) producing prize winning goodies for my family. I always feel that despite the many hours of weeding, watering, and babying my young plants, I'm getting all this wonderful food for nothing.

Anyone who has accepted the challenge to return to the soil will know that most gardeners are self-delusional. We are like the fishermen who enthrall any who are patient enough to listen, about the great one who got away. In our experience is the year each "Red Chieftain" potato plant produced 20 spuds.

Gardeners are the ultimate optimists. Next year will always be better. That's why we last so long. I'm 80 and counting. We can always come up with an excuse. If the tomatoes get scorch marks, it is because it was an unusually hot summer. I have a problem with a cocky groundhog, and several cotton tailed rabbits who have taken up residence in my extensive wood pile, where years of accumulated trimmings are gradually changing into home-made compost. What annoys me, is when I see my uninvited creatures dropping by my struggling young greens to feast on a delicious salad. This year those intruders ate every yellow green corn stalk as it pushed its way through the soil. Not even one made it to the cob producing stage. It is even worse when using a flashlight in the dark, and you see adult raccoons with their young'uns eating at Wild Bill's Fresh Food Emporium.

I told you all of this, to set the stage for the accident I wanted to tell you about. The crisp drop in the temperature is the sign fall, and an early frost will soon follow. It's time to harvest the wonderful shining orange pumpkins. Some are huge, weighing forty pounds or more. After cutting the stem off one of my prize beauties, I bent over to pick it up, to stack beside the barn. I didn't get a very good grip on the beast. Accidents occur when our attention is interrupted. I had not noticed how my boot had become so completely entangled in the winding mass of root structure which cluttered the ground. I attempted to move forward, and the huge vegetable swung around against my gut, throwing me off balance, and I fell forward, face down into the unyielding root mass. The full weight of my body squashed against the pumpkin now lying below me. Trying to ease my fall, I thrust both hands forward, bruising my palms, and damaging my wrist severely. I've got to go now for x-rays. When the swelling goes down I still have a lot of cleaning to do in my garden.

Take care nature lovers, and look where you are walking if you are carrying a pumpkin.